My Life As A Middle Child - Putting Together The Pieces

Saturday, June 18, 2005

X versus Y

I sit here with my friend Jose and think… Men really have the life compared to Women.

So, I have decided to point out my thoughts on this with the list below (as you know, I can’t resist a good list)

We have the obvious reasons:

  • Childbirth (Honestly, I wouldn’t give this up to them as it is a bond between a mother and child that is very special. Plus, when you child gets older, you can always hold your labor over their heads)
  • They don’t have to wear pantyhose (a man must have invented these)
  • No Makeup
  • Shampoo, Condition, Mouse/Gel, Dry, Curl/Straighten and Hairspray – most men wouldn’t know what the products look like, much less have to use them on a daily basis.
  • No Waxing and/or Tweezing of stray hairs in unwanted areas.
  • No Shaving of the Arm Pits (I sit here now with a stinging pit as I used a new razor blade this morning)
  • Leg Hair – they do not have to shave, wax, or use other products to rid themselves of this. They are actually quite proud of the amount of hair on their legs. (You think the stinging arm pit is bad? I kid you not, but I am at this time visiting my friend Jose to help lesson the pain of having used a product this morning to allow me to wear a swimming suit. I now have a wonderful red, blotchy and very painful rash and may have to go commando for the next few days due to it.)
  • That time of the month… no tampons, pads, cramping or leakage for men.
  • They can change their own tire or install a new battery. (As my DH is more the athletic type, I could probably do these items before he could, however, this is not the norm.)
  • Being treated on the same level as men when shopping for a car, house or any item of such.

Now for the reasons that aren’t talked about, or most of us don’t even think about:

  • The Grocery Store. I don’t know about the rest of you, but my DH does not go with me very often. When he does go with me, he stops when we reach the magazines and I end up finishing all of the shopping by myself. Not to mention that I have to put away all of the groceries when we get home. Also, if my DH stops by the store, he picks up only what we need for that night and any snacks that he may want.
  • After the grocery store, there is the cleaning out of the refrigerator. When my DH cleans out the fridge, he will throw away anything that is in a Styrofoam container. That’s it, that’s all. He never opens the veggie bin and doesn’t dare open any bowls for fear that science experiments may have started in them. Wipe out the refrigerator with a wet soapy rag… what is this?
  • Speaking of cleaning, when was the last time you saw men cleaning any of the following
    o Puke from themselves or another individual
    o The shower/tub including the shower curtain or doors
    o The dreaded TOILET… yes, ladies they are the ones with the bad aims, but we are the ones that have to clean up their spillage.
  • Enough about cleaning as I could go on for quite some time in that area, let’s talk clothes…
    o The cost of Men’s clothes is much more economical than women’s
    o Men can wear the same suit with a different shirt and no one notices
    o Men can always wear a pair of Dockers and a Polo Shirt and look semi dressy to fit in at most places… we are either casual or dressy, no in between.
    o Bras and Granny Panties – There is so much to be said on these, but I will not go there… I will say no more on these items.
  • Weight… yes, I know this is a private issue and women do not like to talk about it, but we do. We all take good looks at ourselves and discuss how we feel about our size. If this conversation is not with a friend, it is at least with ourselves. Men do not care… nor do they have to. Society does not frown upon heavy weight men the way it does women.
  • Then there is the cold factor. Have you ever had to cross your arms when speaking with someone because the temperature was cold? Then we have been taught, if you are having a conversation with someone and their arms are crossed in front of them, it means that they are put off and are disinterested. It must have been a man that came up with that one… NO, it’s because I’m cold and I don’t want you to see my nipples poking out! (Sorry, I needed to get that one out)

So I will now get off of my soapbox, but please if you have anything you would like to add, make sure to comment as I am sure I have missed some very good ones. And always remember… GIRLS RULE, BOYS DROOL! GIRL POWER!

ADDENDUM TO ORIGINAL POST WITH ADDITIONAL ITEMS and the person who thought of it:

KGRAMS - The Recliner. Why is it that the recliner belongs to them and we are expected to vacate it whenever they appear?

EASILY AMUSED - The Remote. Why must men feel they are the "king" of the remote.

On the Go - The Penis Factor (Additional notes are not needed on this one.)

Pieces being sorted by KGrams at 6/18/2005 11:46:00 PM

3 comments(s):

First of all, when I left you last night, you were dog tired. What the hell happened, and why didn't you share?!?!? LOVED THE LIST. Way too cute. Just off the top of my head however, I realize you left out the control of the remote. Why must men feel that they are the "king" of the remote? Is it an unconscience extension / replacement for a certain body part? I'm sure I could think of more, but at this time my brain & stomach are screaming at me. I have been crying all morning (you know what today is, and why) and eating Sis-R's brownies that actually have more chocolate frosting that brownie. YUM!! Chocolate cures everything!

By Blogger Tina M, at 6/19/2005 10:00 AM  

Easily Amused,
Yes, I was dog tired, but if you remember, I had to work on Lucy's machine. The frustration of that drove me straight to Jose and then posting.

Yes, I did forget the remote... even more importantly, I forgot the recliner. Check out the adendum to my post.

I understand today and yes, chocolate does cure everything... unless of course it is something you get from Angelina Jolie and then penicillan is needed. HA

On the Go,
Thank you for the reminder... please note, it does get better with age. As most men get older, they do get better about it or at least hide it better so that you don't notice.

By Blogger KGrams, at 6/19/2005 10:46 PM  

I agree with your anologies. Especially the Angelina Jolie thing. I think that anything from her, at this point is probaly resistant to about everything. My problem yesterday was too much chocolate. Oh man I had a tummy ache. How can you ever get too much chocolate? It's all Gods fault. He's a man and dosen't understand just how the chocolate makes a girl feel better.

By Blogger Tina M, at 6/20/2005 9:48 AM  

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