We'll call it... The Great Escape
I have discovered that some of the best and funniest stories that we tell seem to be about the "not so pretty" bodily functions.
A funny thing happened the other day, ok it's funny now, but the other day. UGH!!!
On Saturday morning, Doodlebug and I went to the mall (before anyone even says anything, it was to get her pics taken, not to shop) and EA and Mom met us there. After we got her pictures taken, picked out and paid for, we headed to the food court as we were all hungry. I fed Doodle her squash and then gave her a bottle so I cold eat.
While sitting there eating, my mom pointed to Doodle and said what's that? I looked down and there was a big green spot on the front of Doodle's shirt. I'm looking at it thinking her squash was orange, how did she get green on her shirt. I then had a light bulb moment... she had green beans for dinner last night. Now, one would first say to themselves as I did, she couldn't have pooped so much that it would come out the front of her diaper could she? Well, I am here to tell you that it can and it did. When I picked her up, it was not only coming out the front of her diaper, but also the back. I lovingly held her out at arms length and carried her to the bathroom. Did I mention that we were at the food court. Oh yes, there were some appetites lost that day. 1 outfit, 1 diaper, 2 disposable changing pads, approximately 15 wipes and a huge mess of paper towels later, we again had a clean sweet Doodlebug.
I am still in wonder and amazement at the amount of poo and the smell that can come out of one so little and sweet.
P.S. To the rude lady in the bathroom that was complaining...
1) about the fact that I was blocking one of the sinks. (there were 3 of them in the bathroom) Bathrooms are built with limited space and unfortunately, the diaper changing stations are not always in the most convenient places... get over it.
2) your comments about how disgusting it was... lady, just be glad that I was busy trying to clean up a fussy baby and wasn't able to deal with you as you would not have liked the words that would have come from my mouth. Also, you are very lucky you left that bathroom not wearing part of the mess I was cleaning up.
Pieces being sorted by KGrams at
8/02/2005 10:02:00 PM
8 comments(s):
I probably would have told her to remember that SHE was a baby once TOO. ;)
By
Me, at
8/03/2005 7:46 AM
Metitt is just WAY to nice!!
Lucky for that woman, I stayed at the table! KGrams, you know how well I can rant & rave!! I would have given that woman a piece of my mind with out a doubt!! Doodles is just a little baby. What the fuck did that woman want you to do? Go find a maintaince man, take her out back and hose her off??? It's in no way your fault that this particular time you could not do a 5 second diaper change! If she doesn't like that the changing table blocks ONE of the MANY SINKS, she should complain to Westfield, it's their mall, you didn't design the stupid setup!!
P.S. Doodlebug takes after her G-Ma for sure. That was one officious odor!! hehehe
Just kidding, I know it wasn't the odor that disinagrated the crotch in your pants, it was your DH trying to get in!!
By
Tina M, at
8/03/2005 8:50 AM
Okay, she totally would have been wearing what the baby had in her diaper. There is absolutley no need for that bullshit.
I'm sorry you had to deal with both a poonami and a wretched bitch all in the same room.
By
Tammy, at
8/03/2005 9:00 AM
It is simply amazing how much poo that one small baby can not only create, but them excrete all at once.
Cheers Doodlebug!
Am slightly disappointed that there are no photos.
By
Mama Duck, at
8/03/2005 9:48 AM
Reminds me of the time I took my son to Pizza Hut. He was about 14 months or so. It was right down the road, I "didn't need the diaper bag". Yeah right! He showed me!!
As we had just finished our meal, I saw something bubbling from his diaper, much like a volcano. He was in a high chair, and it was green and frothy, and spilling all down the high chair and all over the floor. I had to carry him in the bathroom, much the same as you did...only I didn't have diapers or wipes...ugh! We rushed him home surrounded by piles of paper towels! Was one of the most embarassing moments ever! LOL
Gotta love 'em!
By
jlybn123, at
8/03/2005 10:02 AM
Oh yes, the poop up the front and back. I've so been there. Ugh.
EA spoke: "disinagrated the crotch in your pants, it was your DH trying to get in!!"
Um, what!?!
Yep, EA shoulda been there to rip that idiot woman apart. It's bad enough to have to deal with a poo crisis and then have to deal with smartass remarks from strangers. Honestly, I'm sure you looked like you probably needed help more than anything. I think I would have chunked a poo napkin in her direction and said, "Would you mind putting this in the trash for me?" HA!
By
ieatcrayonz, at
8/03/2005 12:43 PM
You mus be so proud. I am disappointed she did not do it during her photosession.lol!!As for nasty lady in the bathroom....what is wrong with people. Did she think you were enjoying yourself. You were forcing the poop out so you could go in the bathroom and block the sink. I knew you were trouble.lol;)
By
Katy, at
8/03/2005 2:54 PM
Wow, the responses on this post have been amazing... Doodlebug and I thank you all for your support.
Meritt - you are just too nice sweetie.
EA - I can see you now... come on, put em' up, put em' up. Hey, it was so bad when I took off her clothes that I was going to actually put her in the sink and hose her down, but it was one of those automatic faucets and the water was too hot and couldn't be adjusted.
As for your P.S. HAHAHA
teh - you totally need to move to MO. I need my twin here to help me out. LOL
mama duck - amen sister. We already had the great mudslide and now the great escape. If it wasn't for her being in a diaper and clothes, I would hate to see how far this one would have flown. She might have beat Peanut's record.
Sorry there aren't any photos, I actually had the camera back at the table, but not enough hands to do the work needed, much less take photos. I should have though, that really would have pissed the lady off. hehehe
jlybn123 - Welcome, glad you could stop by. Sorry your first visit is a poo story, but they are a large part of my life at this time.
Surrounded by piles of paper towels... OMG, that one had me ROFL. Thank you for the info, I will definitely keep a stocked bag in the back of the veh for the next 2 years "just in case".
Crayonz - EA was talking about my post from June 27th when I went to iron my pants and found the cloth was no longer fully intact.
Will definitely chuck a poo napkin next time... not to be confused with a chuck it in cake.
Katy - proud isn't the word I was thinking but ok, we'll go with it. Thank god it didn't happen during the photo shoot, as she was wearing a 1 piece and then a biniki. Due to the swimsuits, I actually had used a Swaddlers #2 diaper on her that we could tuck in the suits and hide. Luckily we had changed her into a Cruisers #3 and put clothes on her.
Yes, I am trouble. I take poor innocent babies to the mall and push on their tummies until poop comes out so that I can hang out in bathrooms and take up space.
mrtl - thanks for the brownie points... can you send brownies with them??? hehehe
I think you may have just jinxed yourself. "This never happened to me" and are you not pregnant now?
By
KGrams, at
8/03/2005 11:22 PM
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