My Life As A Middle Child - Putting Together The Pieces

Sunday, June 26, 2005

It's like this because???

At work the other day, a couple of co-workers were talking about how one of their significant others wants them to move in together. The co-worker is not for this and is happy with the current status that they have been together for many years and live very close to each other (on the same block). They like having their space when they want it and feels the other needs it as well.

At first, I thought... Commitment phobia, but now that I have been really thinking about it, I am starting to see the great logic behind it. I love my DH and Teenager and can’t image life without them, but how nice would it be to have my own space when I want it. Also, there is the thing about the house itself. I cleaned the house last Thursday when I was off work and over the past 4 days have noticed the following items in the living room, family room or kitchen. When I see them, I think to myself... Why exactly is this here? Who left it? And most importantly, Why is it that I am stuck putting it where it belongs or throwing it away?

Here is my list of items...

1) Golf clubs that seem to have taken up residency in my kitchen
2) Bread Twist Tie that once taken off the loaf of bread, remains on the counter. (Mama Duck, do you need me to send you these for making your racer back bras?)
3) Ring off the milk carton. Again, this item remains on the counter until I throw it away. (FYI, the trash can is next to the counter where the bread ties and rings are left. Silly me, I guess it's the fact that they must step on the pedal to open the can.)
4) Golf Guide CD Rom on the candle pedestal in the family room. (Note: The computer is required to use this disk and it is on another floor of the house.)
5) Clothes that have been washed and dried, but not put away are still on the couch. (Yes, my family is happy to live out of a clothes basket if it means never having to actually put clothing items away.)
6) Toothpicks on the end table in the family room. 7)A computer is sitting in the floor of the living room. (The teenager brought it home from his uncle's for the g/f. Upon arrival home with computer, he asks if he can go see g/f and Doodlebug and will take the computer. He leaves 5 minutes later and said computer is still on my living room floor.)

Ok, now here comes my soapbox for today. I work full time outside of the house and so does my DH. So, why is it my job to clean house, grocery shop and cook? Who made up this rule???

As I stated earlier, last Thursday when I was home from work, I cleaned the house and now it needs to be cleaned again. I mentioned to DH when we were out today that WE needed to clean house tonight and he agreed that we would. When I got home, I had to go upstairs and do a few things and when I came back down to start cleaning, he was lounging on the couch playing a video game. I proceeded to turn on all of the overhead lights and started dusting and cleaning all glass items. I mentioned that the laundry (he does most of the washing, but I end up folding and putting away) needed to be taken upstairs and be put away. He then got up, took up the laundry and says don't turn that off, I'm coming back to play. Does he remember the clean the house thing??? When he gets back, I can tell he is getting annoyed as I am cleaning the television and the entertainment center and am getting in the way of his video game, so I mention… “You know, you could dust the upstairs” and then when he didn’t attempt to move followed it up with “Oh, I forgot apparently I’m the only one who lives in this house.”

Did I mention why the house needed to be cleaned again? It’s because DH’s father and his family will be coming in town tomorrow. As he has never been to our house, (we've been married 6 years now) I am sure that he will be stopping by and I wanted to make sure that it was clean. However, I really shouldn’t care what DH’s father thinks… ok that is absolutely another post in itself and I will not go down that road tonight.

Yes, house cleaning is just another reason that significant others and maybe even married couples should have separate homes.

Pieces being sorted by KGrams at 6/26/2005 11:06:00 PM

7 comments(s):

I have one word for you ---AMEN!!
Why do we have to accept all responsibility? My DH does even less than yours. I just love Vacuuming around his TV program schedule, or sometimes I get to vacuum during commercials. WOO-HOO!!! He even thinks that home repairs make themselves. It’s not fair. I work 8 hrs., go to the grocery store, do the shopping, and then put the groceries away (he doesn’t even carry them in). All the while, he’s asking “when’s dinner?”
Does he really want me to answer that?

By Blogger Tina M, at 6/27/2005 9:23 AM  

I only ask for a few things: take out the trash, do his laundry, mow the lawn, and change the oil. I end up doing the first three A LOT.

And he thinks he helps clean. Nope sweetie. Once you start picking up your own toothpicks, water glasses, dirty socks, and credit card receipts, then I'll allow you to say that. Maybe.

Please tell me you get to claim Doodlebug on your taxes...or at least charge rent to the teen. No wonder you are too exhausted to sleep, it's like being the mother of three children.

I'm all for the separate houses if it weren't for my need to have somebody next to me to get a good night's sleep.

By Blogger ieatcrayonz, at 6/27/2005 10:49 AM  

Easily Amused,
I think it is just a HUGE MALE thing. I am man, I am strong, I must hunt and pillage. Got news for 'em, no workee, no playee.

Crayonz,
I too make my DH change the oil. He actually does this every 3000 miles without fail. He drives the car to the dealership and then sits in the comfy a/c or heated waiting area watching tv until the work is done. (It's just like being at home!)

Yes, I too love the fact that they think they clean. I picked up my wet towel from the floor. Yes, but then you left it on the sink, toilet or someone else around the house. What is it with Toothpicks!? Lets take an item, put in in your mouth to remove the gunk between your teeth and then lay the dirty, wet item down. YUCK!

No, I don't charge rent or get to claim Doodlebug on the taxes. However, I do get to hear the teenager tell me how unfair it is that I make him pay his own cell phone bill, most of the gas for his car and now I have crossed the line as I actually had the nerve to say that I want him to pay 1/2 his car insurance as he didn't qualify for good student.

I too have the need to have somebody next to me to get a good night's sleep. Hence, my sleeping problem as my somebody doesn't come to bed until the middle of the night and normally wakes me. I think a puppy would probably work better, is Farley or Dakota available?

Wow, my comment looks like another whole post. OOPS

By Blogger KGrams, at 6/27/2005 8:42 PM  

Rancito is pretty handy, so he actually gets down and dirty and changes his own oil. I refuse to do it. I know I'll get shot in the eye my first time.

Toothpicks, toothpicks, everywhere! With a baby no less. Let her poke herself in the the eye a few times, that'll learn 'er.

I should've removed the tax thing from my comment, it was pretty nosy and rude. Thanks for being a good sport. I think you get my point, though. I don't think he'll appreciate what he's got until he's out on his own. Unfortunately.

I love how safe I feel with my man next to me. If he's out of town, Farley and Dakota are my co-sleepers. They make excellent lap and foot warmers. Of course they're available! It's only an 8 hour drive, right? ;)

By Blogger ieatcrayonz, at 6/28/2005 10:31 AM  

Crayonz,

You are lucky that Rancito is handy. My dad was a mechanic and not only did all of the car repairs, but also fixed everything around the house. Luckily for my DH, my dad taught me a few things as I wear the toolbelt in our house. And yes, I agree you probably would get shot in the eye. Definitely not worth taking the risk, plus, it's one less thing you have to do.


Easily amused has beaten us on the toothpick thing, her DH is now into sunflower seeds. I'm sure you can see picture where the shells are ending up.

You need not worry about being too nosy or rude. You were fine. Besides, as you noted on your blog, this is totally voluntary. Therefore we don't have to answer anything we don't want to. I do feel you are right about him not realizing what he has right now, but I really don't think there are very many teenagers who do. Not that you asked, or may even want to know... if so stop reading this now. I wouldn't want to change a thing as I get to spend more time with my Precious Angel of a Granddaughter than any grandparent out there. She fills a large void that was left in our lives when DH and I couldn't have a child of our own.

By Blogger KGrams, at 6/28/2005 11:35 PM  

I wouldn't want to change a thing as I get to spend more time with my Precious Angel of a Granddaughter than any grandparent out there.
Absolutely. I can tell how much you love her from your posts. Either she is the perfect child or you are so captivated by her that there is no time to blog about crying, booboos, or fussiness. I'm like that most of the time myself, but sometimes the not-so-good times are just so darn funny. You are a fantastic grandmother.

I would love for my mother and MIL to get to spend more time with Lauren, but they live 2.5 and 1.5 hours away, respectively. I know I will treasure every moment with my grandchildren as I know that some of my best memories were made with my own.

She fills a large void that was left in our lives when DH and I couldn't have a child of our own.
I feel like I missed something here. Teenager is adopted? There I go with the nosy again!

By Blogger ieatcrayonz, at 6/29/2005 10:31 AM  

Crayonz,

Doodlebug is actually a fantastic child. She has always been the happiest baby and is just starting to get fussy when she is tired. When she wakes each morning, she will actually play for about 30 minutes or so before she even starts fussing for a bottle. I believe she has my dad's morning personality in that she wakes up smiling, squealing and laughing.

Don't worry, I am sure the stories will be starting as she is getting bigger. As previously stated, she has started the oops game and the open mouth raspberry with drool flying in all directions.

I have found that I am enjoying Doodlebug so much more than I did the teenager when he was a baby. Everyone tells me that this is how it is. I guess it's because I'm not as worried about the little things as I was with him. If he didn't poo by the time I thought he should, I was in a panic mode. With her I just tell the kids, wait it will come, but BE PREPARED for when it does, it will be a doosey. My grandparents had all passed away when I was growing up, but DH was very close to his and is always telling me stories. When the time comes, I truly hope she will have stories to tell her husband and children of the great times she spent with her grandparents.

Dear Nosy,
Actually, you are not nosy, just curious which is a totally normal human trait. There are a few blogs that are total must reads for me, as they either crack me up, or I relate to them in many ways. After a while, you start feeling a connection to the person on the other end of the blog and want to know more and more about them.

Well, I have no secrets, so here is the deal. DH is the teenager's stepdad. I married very young... the only good thing that came from that marriage was the teenager. DH and I were married 6 1/2 years ago and started trying to have a child immediately, but due to medical problems on my end, we were not successful on our own. We tried InVitro in 2002 and actually achieved pregnancy. Unfortunately, I miscarried the baby. I know that things happen for a reason, but I still spent many nights crying and wanting to know why God would do this to us. Now, I have the answer... He knows best. Right after that, my job became super stressful and I was working 60 or more hours a week. Due to the work load, I started having hand and arm problems and went from dr to dr as determined by the work comp carrier. I have now changed positions with the company I work for and even though my boss is a PBPT, it is still so much better and I don't have to type all day which helps with my hands and arms. I look back now and think how could I ever have pregnant or had an infant and made it through those days. While I did not want the teenagers to have a child at this time in their lives, I know she was meant to be for all of us as God doesn't make mistakes. Doodlebug like all children is a blessing and a very precious gift.

So, now aren't you sorry you asked???

By Blogger KGrams, at 6/30/2005 12:09 AM  

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